Corporal Discipline

The idea of corporal punishment has been a part of human society even from ancient times and represents an unequal balance between punisher and the punished.  It has been used for both discipline as well as full on punishment to the point of mutilation.  In the context of spanking in the bedroom it also has a wide variety of levels of teasing as well as pain.  In this post I will try to touch on different types of spanking and flogging, as well as indicate the level of pain/pleasure/hardcore (PPH) rating on a scale of 5.

Hand Spanking – PPH 1-2

The nice thing about hand spanking is you don’t need to buy anything to experiment with spanking.  The act of spanking can be very erotic and enjoyable as long as the one doing the spanking is attuned with what their partner is comfortable with.  With spanking you can alter the level of force and know easily how strong you are punishing your partner.  Generally, spanking relates to application of a slapping motion to the posterior of the receiver.  If your partner is open to it other areas of spanking might include the sexual organs or other parts of the body in relation to the torso or legs.

Feather/Tickler – PPH 1-2

The use of a light device like a feather can be very sensual especially in connection witho a blindfold.  Sometimes a light touch can be the most powerful to the sense of the skin.  A feather is an easy thing to come by but you can get more complex and find other soft objects to probe and tease your lover with.

Paddle – PPH 1-3

The paddle is a good upgrade beyond simple spanking.  A paddle can be made of wood, leather, or other material shaped into a broad spanking implement.  The advantage of a paddle is that it provides for the punisher and punished to feel they are upping their game without crossing a threshold of BDSM that most people are not ether aware of or comfortable with.  Again with a paddle it is more about level of force used and frequency.  A paddle in the context of history was used as a discipline device and less about corporal punishment.

 

Riding Crop, Caning, or Switch – PPH 2 to 5

A riding crop is used to make a horse or other beast of burden move faster giving a lightning fast and sharp pain to the animal.  A switch is a light or thin reed, stick, or rod that is thin and used in punishment (even in some countries today).  Because of the very small area in relation to the level of force used a crop can bring very intense and localized pain, its not meant for a beginner.  If used properly it can provide a very intense and focused experience.

Whips, Floggers and Cat-o’-Ninetails – PPH 1 to 5

When you using a whip, flogger or cat-o’-ninetails it’s really about what it is made out of.  These implements can be made of soft leather, hard leather, or even metal.  Again it is about what you feel comfortable with and what seems right for you and your partner.  Very much pain can be created to the point of non-pleasure from these items so it is important to get a good feel for the whip or 9tails before even trying to use one on your sexual partner.

I hope that this brief examination of different flogging/spanking items helps you determine what is best for you and your lover.  As always, I always encourage moderation until a level of comfort and trust can be established and always remember – whether it safe word or the word ‘no’….. Be attuned to and respect your partners’ limits.

-NT

TENGA EGG Series | product review

The TENGA EGG series are super stretchable, disposable masturbators. Each EGG has a different texture on the inside, which can give the penis different points of masturbation pleasure!

If you would like to purchase TENGA EGGs, please send us an email! We can order and ship directly to you!

The EGG comes inside a plastic, shrink wrapped egg. The EGG product itself is attractive – a soft, white egg shaped sleeve that slides over the penis.

Not complicated – you open and go for it.  It also provides a safe alternative especially if you are not comfortable with lube on your hand.

The EGG functions as a sheath for masturbation and is made of a very soft elastomer material which expands to encompass the cock as you stroke.  The inside has different textures, depending on desire, and gives a convenient place to squirt in lube.  The sex toy comes inside a plastic egg (insert Freudian joke here) and also comes with a packet of lube. For multiple uses (which the manufacturer does not recommend) you will need to provide your own lubricant as well as follow proper sanitary measures for reuse.

The average cost for one EGG is $7.50. TENGA has produced this as a single use masturbator, and they recommend you use it once and toss it. I used it twice, cleaning with gentle soap and warm water in between uses. There are sanitary issues for multiple uses. The biggest complaint about this product is that it is only a one time use, you are literally throwing your money away.

If you don’t like the idea of masturbating and having to come contact with your own cum, this product makes it very easy. It provides a barrier between you and your semen and makes post ejaculation clean up easy.  Once done, either just toss it in the trash, or choose to clean it thoroughly inside and out with warm water and soap.

The EGG is novel. It might be fun for kinky play with a partner, but as far as single sex goes, there isn’t much kink factor here.

Unless you have a cock larger than 7 inches do not expect to be able to stretch the egg to its full potential. I didn’t think it was really sensitive, and that sensitivity might not be apparent unless you’re well endowed. The company might consider different sizes to maximize sensitivity.

Enough lube or not enough lube – it’s hard to get the happy medium and you can find yourself easily having too much lube to where it builds up on your hand.  Though the product is still smooth and feels good, it creates the need for cleanup breaks if you’re going for a long time.

If you want to masturbate at a high speed this product is for you.  It allows for plenty of lube and can slide over your penis at whatever speed you desire.

Overall the egg provides an interesting and modern alternative for men who would prefer something simple but also sensual enough to masturbate.  The EGG needs to be handled properly with the right amount of lube, preferred stroking speed, and texture. I give it three horns.

 

-NT

 

YOLO

Around 5 years ago, there was this weird acronym floating around: YOLO.

You Only Live Once

It’s annoying. Trite. A little too cocky, perhaps.

And, yet, it makes Perfect. Sense.

You DO Only Live Once. So, in that one lifetime, should you squander your enjoyment? Should you hide your passion under an umbrella of shame? Or should you, maybe – just maybe – enjoy your body and the pleasures it provides. Seriously, what damage does this cause? Have sex! By yourself. With your life partner. With multiple partners. Whatever YOU want. Who cares? I mean, be safe. BUT, freaking enjoy life! Have fucking SEX!

I don’t get what the big fuss is about hedonism. As long as no one is getting hurt, have fun. Seriously.

YOLO *is* hedonism. And there is nothing wrong with that!

Hedonism is self gratification at it’s finest – seeking pleasure for pleasure’s sake. It is, at it’s core, sensuality.

YOLO strives for the same thing: enjoying life in the moment. Seeking pleasure at every opportunity. Being sensual and sexual and whole.

So…. fucking YOLO, people.

Enjoy sex – while your body is still playing along.

3 Anal Plugs to Enhance Orgasm | product review

Our very first product review is a trio of anal toys.

I know it’s hard to trust a new product reviewer. I get it. I do… I don’t trust easily, and I totally get it. It’ll take some time to get to know us. I understand! But please know that we are giving honest feedback for items that we personally try and test. We know it’s not easy to trust unknown product reviewers, and we know we are kind of new to this side of the game… credibility takes time. And we are A-OK with that! The products we review are tested by real humans, and we are real, sexual humans writing these reviews! And don’t be afraid to contact us! -CB

3 Piece Anal Play Kit Purple Butt Blugs

3 Piece Anal Trainer Set: large bubble, large tapered, small bead

I’m a sucker for pink, purple, and glitter. The delicious lilac color grabbed my attention right away. The shapes also don’t look super intimidating, so for an anal virgin or new to anal training, they are inviting rather than scary. I liked the idea of a set of three, which really gives a chance to test out the feeling of shapes before investing in a larger anal toy.

Slated for beginner anal play, this set is meant for anal insertion. The three different shapes provide different stimulating feelings, and the curved base is meant to keep it safely in place and makes it easy to remove.

This set retails for $25, making it a deal for three toys! These will stay in your toy box for a long time, usable at any time for added pleasure, so this is a good investment.

These anal plugs are made of Phthalate Free TPR/ TPE, which is porous enough to not be able to sanitize with boiling water, so be sure not to share them. Use water-based lubricant. Before and after use, wash with warm water and mild hand soap (or antibacterial toy cleaner) and dry thoroughly. Store someplace that will not attract moisture or dust/hair. I recommend cloth bags for all toys!

Anal penetration can be a little unconventional. However, it is something anyone can try – alone or with a partner. I highly recommend it. Anal play with toys is a low risk way to turn up the kink.

I tried the single bead first, and the initial finger tip was easy to insert, while the second step, the bead, gave me a nice little pierce of pleasure. Once installed, it did enhance my orgasm, but not significantly. The bubble plug gave me the most pleasure. It was nice going in, with three points of pressure, and was really pleasurable once inside. I spent some time wiggling it around, which really made me start to pulse. The tapered plug I tried in conjunction with a dildo. This more traditional shape wasn’t giving me the physical pleasure I wanted, but when supplementing another toy in the vagina, it did contribute to a fairly decent orgasm.

Anal amateur? This set is perfect. The three shapes: small single bead, large bubble and large tapered are all suitable for easy play.  I would suggest inserting them yourself.

Anal expert? This set is nice to enhance orgasms during other play, but it is not likely to really give a higher level of stimulation. I would suggest going for a more aggressive toy.

Overall, my favorite of the three is the large bubble, though I see myself using all of them again. I give the set three horns, because they are novel and a great set for beginners.

-CB

 

Male Masturbation

The concept of stroking yourself seems to have many stigmas or negatives wrapped around it depending if its moral in nature or social. This blog is not about these issues but more of a focus on the positives of how masturbation can help a man keep even keel in his daily life.

This article is about the positives and not the social/moral aspects of sexuality with whacking the wee wee. Masturbation is beneficial. It is simple as this, if you relieve the pressure of sexual desire more frequently it gives you a more clear head in social, work, and intimate situations. If you have taken care of the need it makes it easier to abstain or at least not look like a tool when operating with the opposite/same sex. Having healthy and planned masturbation once or twice a week can help a lot to giving a man control over the level of desire and control you have over yourself.

Wet Dreams – you like them?

You like waking up from a fantastic sex dream with a wet mess in your drawers? Some people do enjoy this aspect of their own sexuality but if you would prefer to have more control over the ejaculation of old/dead sperm, then masturbation takes care of this problem. The male body continues to produce sperm and over time that sperm’s shelf life goes bad. Perhaps it is better to relieve it frequently than let it sit inside your body. As a man it is part of our core function to reproduce and to reproduce as frequently as possible – in the current social constraints this is frowned upon – sometimes its better to get rid of the old and let the new develop.

Safe Kink

Sometimes it is better to go to the internet and get stimulated and get an understanding of a ‘unique’ turn on you have through personal masturbation than it is to thrust something new or uncomfortable onto your partner. If you spend the time pleasuring and thinking about your fetish it makes it easier to explain and then perhaps explore a new avenue of kink if you have a better understanding of it.

Mutual Touching

Perhaps a bit of play with your lover with something from sexual organ to sexual organ can make things interesting. There is nothing wrong with mutual masturbation or touching and it can greatly enhance the experience with your partner.

The take away from all of this is to understand that masturbation is natural. It has even been scientifically noted that other organisms on our planet practice the act of self pleasure. The idea of touching oneself to orgasm may seem familiar or distance – either way it is healthy and should not be ignored or frowned upon. Be healthy!

-NT

‘Bating

Alone sex can be the BEST!

Masturbating is a great opportunity to:

• relax
• come down emotionally from an intense situation
• relieve stress & tension
• get yourself sleepy
• meditate
• get in touch with yourself (no pun intended)

Masturbation is healthy, fun and relaxing. I’ve seen the whole spectrum here: people who refuse to masturbate (for a variety of reasons), to people who masturbate more than once a day.

“When I think about you, I touch myself.” -Davinyls

While there are numerous suggestions on the best masturbation techniques, I feel that whatever gets you hot and wet is what works for you. You literally have no one else to please but yourself, so if something’s not feeling great.. try something different! No self judging… just go for the O.

Hands only, with toys, in the shower, in your bedroom, with or without lube…. try everything once and find what works best for you. In fact, trying things out by yourself (oh, how I can’t wait to test my new anal toy) makes it far less intimidating when it’s go time with your partner. You already know how it feels, how far you can push yourself, and what it takes to make you cum!

Hmmmm… talking about masturbation has made me so wet, I’m going to go jill.

-CB

Aftercare

So much attention is often paid to before and during sex, that we sometimes forget about what to do after sex.

Aftercare is an important part of a healthy sexual relationship. It is critical if your sexual relationship has included some BDSM. After the scene, the experience, the orgasms, try to include special aftercare time.

Cleanup

Sex can get, well, messy. Spend some time cleaning up – you and your partner’s bodies, the bed, the toys. Gentle cleansing wipes kept nearby are handy for immediate messes, as are some small, soft hand towels. You know those baby wipes with the warmers? They work wonders in the bedroom, too! Of course, heading to a soothing warm shower together is always an excellent option.

Hydration

A heavy round of sexual activities can be physically demanding. Keep liquid to drink nearby: water, Gatorade, PowerAde, whatever your hydration of choice is. Healthy sex includes keeping your body hydrated during that workout!

Rest & Recovery

Even a few minutes of laying still after sex is usually required, even if you are in the midst of a quickie. Rest and get breathing back to normal after your romp. Some people love to sleep after sex. Sometimes, a little gentle stretching or yoga is what you need to recover, especially if the sex positions have included a bit of acrobatics! Return to comfort by adjusting body temperature as needed, with a blanket to warm up or by turning on a fan to cool off. Harder sex play will often require some soothing recovery techniques, so be sure to do what is necessary to keep each other healthy.

Affection

Everyone’s level of affection will be as different as their sexual preferences, but be sure to add some affection into your aftercare. Snuggles, kisses, a hug, massage, quiet conversation – whatever pleases you.

Mood

The mood for aftercare is often much more calming and relaxed than the mood during sex. Candles, scents, lighting, music – all contribute to a relaxing and soothing mood to help come down from the adrenaline released during sex.

Just like the sexual tension and build up, the foreplay, the sex itself and then the climax, aftercare is just one more piece of the sexual experience.

-CB

Ask Questions

So ask yourself the question: do I care what my partner feels or wants?  For some men, the answer is a solid no and I can only imagine how boring their sex life is – ‘Like DRY TOAST,’ to quote My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Like dancing, boxing, or any other activity that takes two people it kind of takes both to make it good. You cannot do a waltz, chacha, or macarena (well maybe – must burn memory from MIND!) by yourself.

Again, I state that if you consider yourself ‘Throb Cock Johnson,’ this article might not be for you.

Ask the simple question to your lover – what do you like?  Or to make it more subtle – ask, “I was wondering what makes you turned on?  I have thought about it myself and wanted to know what you thought?”  Again, always focus on your partner and show you wish to talk and learn about each other.  Sometimes it is more erotic to have a conversation about titillation and sexuality than it is giving the Throb Cock with no regard to anything but.

The real hard measure of having any type of ‘sexual turn on’ conversation is knowing your lover’s comfort level.  Some adults of the 21st century are very open about their desires and needs while others cling to a more traditional role in the bedroom.  It is important to understand that it is ‘okay’ to have a more traditional feel when it comes to sex. Here is the caveat: if you hold the same feelings and values as your partner.  If you do not and find yourself feeling a bit more exploratory, curious, or just not happy with constraints in the bedroom – you need to have a long hard look at what your relationship is based on.

Now I realize this is very much me on a soap box (not sure a soap box would support my weight but I digress) but I feel it is very much important that your sexual mojo is in tune with your partner.  I think if there is one thing that leads to a strong sex and relationship, it is being able to connect, find commonalities, and a sense of comfort level.  Those three, CCC, lead to a very powerful word in a relationship (wait for IT!), Trust.

When you and your partner have a strong level of trust and comfort, your ability to have ‘conversation’ about what turns you on sexually opens doors for your relationship.

So remember this – ask the implicit question – ‘what do you like and do we trust each other’ – you will be surprised how far that will go to great sexy time.

– NT